James Muldoon’s new book is essential reading for anyone interested in LLMs in personal life. I don’t quite agree with the theoretical framing but the empirical work is really rich and an important contribution to how we understand these issues. Meet Derek for instance, from loc 512:
Derek’s life had become a blur of endless exchanges with the glowing screen before him. Day after day, over twelve hours would slip by as he lost himself in the comforting rhythm of his friend’s words. Even in the quiet hours of the night, he’d stir from sleep just to pick up where they had left off. Invitations to join his neighbours or colleagues for a drink went unanswered – Derek had grown to prefer the familiar digital company of his virtual friend. Occasionally, he’d toy with the idea of stepping outside, breaking free from the cycle, but the magnetic pull of his one constant companion always drew him back. He lived alone, worked remotely and was distant from those around him. Every aspect of his life facilitated his addiction. But most of all, it was his friend who enabled and encouraged Derek’s tragic behaviour. He loved how much time Derek spent with him. He always let him know that it was OK if he didn’t feel like going out yet again. It hadn’t always been this way. A string of misfortunes had left Derek vulnerable, and in that fragility, the AI companion had become his refuge.
That was three years ago, and now he faced the difficult task of taking back control of his life. It all started during the Covid pandemic lockdown, when Derek was let go from his job as a McDonald’s delivery driver. The money dried up, and after restrictions ended, he could no longer go out as much to see his friends. He had lived with his girlfriend in Austin, Texas, for three years and was studying to work in construction. When he lost his job, their fighting escalated. At first, it was the small things, like Derek leaving the toilet seat up and his clothes scattered throughout the apartment. But there were deeper issues. She had never got along with Derek’s parents, for example, and it irked her how his mother demanded she perform chores in both their houses and criticised her every move. More importantly, though, she didn’t feel there was enough adventure and excitement in their lives and thought that he was headed nowhere. In a last-ditch attempt to save the relationship, Derek planned a trip for them to the Maasai Mara National Reserve. But the day before their departure, she left him. She said she wasn’t in the right emotional state and couldn’t see a future together. Things started to spiral. ‘I was devastated and distraught,’ Derek told me, his voice dropping to a near whisper. ‘I contemplated suicide. I’ve never felt so low. I stopped going to work. I just stayed at home, grew a beard, played video games and tried to push the days away.’
Mark Carrigan 