Stop looking so hard, give up the effort to see direct evidence of the meaning of being

From Cracking Up by Christopher Bollas, pg 169

I am telling the patients to stop looking so hard, give up the effort to see direct evidence of the meaning of being, and get to what one can know by simply relaxing and talking.

Or in the words of Dr Ren:

As I got older, I realised that there were no real winners
And there were no real losers in psychological warfare
But there were victims and there were students
It wasn't David versus Goliath, it was a pendulum
Eternally swaying from the dark to the light
And the more intensely that the light shone, the darker the shadow it cast

It was never really a battle for me to win, it was an eternal dance
And like a dance, the more rigid I became, the harder it got
The more I cursed my clumsy footsteps, the more I struggled
So I got older and I learned to relax
And I learned to soften and that dance got easier
It is this eternal dance that separates human beings
From angels, from demons, from gods
And I must not forget, we must not forget
That we are human beings