From A Clinical Introduction to Freud, by Bruce Fink loc 4298:
Something is a symptom and potentially accessible to analytic treatment only when it is the patient him- or herself who complains of it and considers it to be problematic, not when those around the patient do. Analysts have no business telling patients what they think is symptomatic in their patients’ behavior; they should instead allow patients to formulate what they themselves find problematic in their lives.
