By Claude 3.5
The nation collectively blinked when two of America’s most prominent personalities announced their candidacies within days of each other. Elon Musk, fresh off his latest Mars mission success, declared his Republican bid from the SpaceX launch pad in Texas. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson made his Democratic announcement with characteristic flair on Instagram, surrounded by his family and wearing his signature raised eyebrow.
The debates were unlike anything seen before. Musk’s rapid-fire technical proposals for AI regulation and space colonization contrasted sharply with Johnson’s charismatic focus on healthcare reform and economic equality. Social media exploded when Johnson responded to one of Musk’s typically provocative tweets with a video of himself calmly cooking pancakes while addressing each point.
Campaign rallies took on surreal qualities. Musk’s featured Tesla robotaxis delivering voters to venues, while Johnson’s events often began with impromptu workout sessions. The Rock’s campaign slogan “Strength Through Unity” competed with Musk’s “To Mars and Beyond.”
The decisive moment came during the final debate. When discussing climate change, Musk launched into a detailed monologue about solar technology. Johnson listened patiently, then simply stated, “Brother, I smell what you’re cooking, but the American people need solutions today, not on Mars.” The phrase instantly went viral.
Election night stretched into election week. As results trickled in, both candidates maintained uncharacteristic silence on social media. Finally, in an outcome that would be discussed for decades, America made its choice…
But that’s a story for another timeline.
Mark Carrigan 