Raiding the inarticulate since 2010

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Not giving up on your own desire

From Miss-ing: Psychoanalysis 2.0 by Bruce Fink loc 555-561:

If the patient feels “guilty,” it is, in Lacan’s view, because he refuses to reckon with the fact that he has “given up on his own desire,” has allowed his own will to be eclipsed by others’ wills, and is perhaps even getting a secondary gain from playing the martyr, feeling like the victim of others’ bad behavior. He does not face up to the fact that, although there is no ultimate reason for his being in the world, for his desires or for his various satisfactions, others’ desires and enjoyments are no more justified than his own and thus have no claim to be deferred to … guilt does not arise when I impulsively do something and then wish I had not; guilt arises when I shy away from doing what I really want to do. …. many of the affects for which patients are often excused and even pitied today by analysts, being theorized as arising from poor early parenting (of which there is plenty, I doubt anyone would argue with that), are viewed by Lacan as ethical stances adopted by patients with respect to knowledge, stances that generally entail a refusal to know about themselves, about the unconscious, and about the actual worlds of love and sex.

You're not just a punchline now
You're more than the end of something
Don't get found out
I often find that it’s going through the pessimism, the darkness, the struggle, that you wind up creating a pocket where there is no other option but joy. The way it comes up with many clients is getting to a place of, ‘well, given that we’re screwed in all of these conceivable ways, what would you want to do? Not, what do you have to do to survive, or appease the Other, but what would you just want?  … It’s wrestling with that precipice of death, where all you’re left with is your own desire. And oftentimes that desire is oriented to something. I want. I want to be with loved ones. I want a tomorrow, regardless of whether that tomorrow will come.

- Daniel Gaztimbide
If only I didn't want the world
I wouldn't make you feel so sad
I'm sure my shame would be gone
Is it human to adore life?
If only I'd hidden my lust
And starved a little bit more
If only I didn't ask for more
Is it human to adore life?
I adore life
If only I'd lived beyond regret
I wouldn't feel guilt for what I take
Is it human to ask for more?
Is it human to adore life?