I’ve been planning how to address this issue much more comprehensively in a second edition of Social Media for Academics. But then Vox helpfully shared this flow chart and I’m not sure I have anything further to add:
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Mark Carrigan 
2 responses to “What do you do when people you like act offensively online?”
The one thing I would add to the left hand side of the diagram is to ask for clarification on the issue that you find your offensive. It may be that there is some misunderstanding, or the person was being ironic (but we failed to get that due to the limitations of the medium), etc… I.e., give the person the benefit of the doubt, before you reply.
agree, like that!